“I wanted to say how much I appreciate and look forward to your emails. You have a wonderful writing style and the “reading time” disclosure always makes me pause and think “stop and smell the roses, Mary!” The small investment of time in the morning always makes me feel better and I walk away feeling more connected to myself and others, as well as having a greater purpose for the day.”

                                                        Mary Bentley

                                                        Baxter Credit Union

                                                        Manager of Executive Services

My newsletters never take more than 3-4 minutes to read.

Here’s a sample of one:

"I don't want to be convinced that I'm wrong."

              Irwin Kula,

              Yearnings: Embracing the Sacred Messiness of Life

    Does this quote resonate with you as it does with me? I believe this is the source of so much conflict in our lives.

     Conflict resolution is easy: Simply give up the need to be right. Notice that I didn't write, “Give up your need.” In order for conflict to be resolved successfully, everyone's needs must be met.

     But people have been known be so committed to being right that they will fly planes into buildings, say horrible things, end relationships and avoid conversation, fearing that they’ll have to admit that they’re “wrong” and someone else is “right.”

    Now here's the paradox: Learning and growth are only possible when someone has a point of view different from our own. It's only when we encounter someone who says, “We see it differently,” that we have a chance to reconsider our position and learn something new.

     So let's transform conflict. Let's no longer see conflict as  good/bad, right/wrong, win/lose but as an opportunity for creativity. Let's substitute the word “but” for the word “and.” Let's change from “You have a position, but I do too” to “You have a position and so do I.” A new, creative synthesis will emerge from an open dialogue when two positions are connected by “and.”

     Let's resolve not to be convinced that we're “wrong,” Rather, let's together be convinced that there's a new and better “right.”

With best wishes,

Larry